Why Timing Matters


By Ariel Minter

I believe in the idea of too many soul mates. I believe we all have at least 5,000 people who are perfect matches to be our dearest friends, and that hopefully you come into contact at least 10 of them…. and then maybe one or two will end up in your wedding party and helping you pick out the best pictures to hang in your house. 

I believe there are at least a million people out there that are perfect for you. I believe that there are so many people that are willing to love you for exactly who you are…it’s just about the right timing. 

I believe in timing. I believe some people could be perfect for you if you had only met ten years later, or earlier. Sometimes the person you want and need isn’t ready to be in that environment of a relationship. There is nothing wrong in walking away when you aren’t getting exactly what you want. But I also believe that once you commit, you’ll fight through hell and back to protect that relationship. 

I believe that the one person you actually decide to spend the rest of your life with will be because timing was on your side, and everything happened in a sequence of events that it would be criminal to turn away from. I don’t believe in waiting for someone who “just isn’t ready to take things seriously right now”, or for holding onto a relationship in hopes that they will decide that for you they’ll walk away from getting hammered every weekend because you are worth it. You know what you’re worth? Not having to ask for that. 

I don’t believe that we are too young to settle down. I don’t believe that just because I believe that, it means I have to marry the next person I think I love. I believe that because all of us are human beings none of us wake up hoping that “not a single person talks to me, or tries to communicate with me”. I believe that we all want to be accepted and loved. We all want to matter. We all want to be heard. 

I believe that in order to have a better world we need to accept more. We need to love more. We need to let other people matter to us. We need to listen, and hear. I believe that we need to stop putting “I” in front of everyone else. 

I believe in humility and giving and loving just to love and not expecting anything in return. I BELIEVE IN GETTING OUTSIDE OF OURSELVES FOR MORE THAN A MOMENT AND REALIZING THAT THERE ARE BIGGER THINGS GOING ON THAN US. 

I believe that we all have pain. We are all hurting. We are not always as happy as we pretend we are on facebook. We’re not always the most clever, the prettiest, the skinniest, the most handsome, the most fun….but that we are all human in being so messed up and ugly. And that, the only way we can love ourselves, is to love others unconditionally

I believe that my generation doesn’t really understand that. And that we all have a huge sense of entitlement, and we all think we somehow deserve big things. At the end of the day, no one owes you anything. So the best thing you can do is decide you can be volnurable sometimes and be authentic and understand that you are amazing just as you are.

So no, I don’t believe in the idea of one soulmate. 

Thoughts on 2K13

2013 has started with a non-bang. In the midst of heart breaking mass shootings, a Fiscal Cliff with no apparent accountability, and an “American Hero” becoming a villain….it’s easy for the average American to feel deceived, angry, and downright ignored. The constitution our country was built upon is up for grabs. Congress refuses to be accountable for the debt that they have caused. The Affordable Care Act, unlike what it’s name suggests, is actually making it more unlikely for the average American to have coverage (i.e. one of my jobs no longer offers weekly hours that range from 30-39, you either are “part time” and work 29 hours a week, or you must work 40+).

In the wake of these things, we are left without security: without trust for security. This, I believe, is in every arena. Economic security? No. Security in those elected to protect our rights? Absolutely not. However, I think that our idea of what security actually means has taken away our rights to choose what “security” actually means. If our government decides for us what is appropriate, does that not take away our freedom of choice? And hasn’t that been happening for a long time? And…in effect to not having a choice, does that breed ignorance?

Regardless of where you stand politically, regardless of your ideologies, regardless of MY ideologies, we are in the midst of the biggest changes our country has yet experienced.

We are in conflict. Our country is in an epidemic of heartbreak. We have lost innocent beautiful lives. We are in a constant state of the 5-stages of grief. But we go on. We still watch funny YouTube videos, we still pop coldies with our friends. We still celebrate. We still fall in love. We are still hopeful. The world keeps on spinning even after many End-of-the-World predictions. In fact, I think we’ve lost the urgency that the world as we know it may cease to exist. I find the spirit in which we live is why we can still be optimistic. But change for the better will only happen in limited ways.

In 1787 Thomas Jefferson said this to William Stephens Smith in Paris:

Wonderful is the effect of impudent and persevering lying. The British ministry have so long hired their gazetteers to repeat and model into every form lies about our being in anarchy, that the world has at length believed them, the English nation has believed them, the ministers themselves have come to believe them, and what is more wonderful, we have believed them ourselves. Yet where does this anarchy exist? Where did it ever exist, except in the single instance of Massachusetts? And can history produce an instance of a rebellion so honorably conducted? I say nothing of it’s motives. They were founded in ignorance, not wickedness. God forbid we should ever be 20. years without such a rebellion.[1] The people can not be all, and always, well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions it is a lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. We have had 13. states independent 11. years. There has been one rebellion. That comes to one rebellion in a century and a half for each state. What country ever existed a century and a half without a rebellion? And what country can preserve it’s liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is it’s natural manure. Our Convention has been too much impressed by the insurrection of Massachusetts: and in the spur of the moment they are setting up a kite to keep the hen yard in order. I hope in god this article will be rectified before the new constitution is accepted.

In 2013 I stand behind responsibility: Responsibility of freedom, and in not losing what is ours. Mentally ill individuals take away precious lives, we can outlaw guns, Congress can sit around and figure out how to maintain their minimum of $190K + a year. Lance Armstrong can give up his medals and be interviewed by Oprah in order to finally be accountable. But let’s not be founded in ignorance or wickedness. We do not have to let our public liberties die.

We can live in Peace, Power, and Joy.