2020: The Year of "Curveball Fatigue"

by Marla

2020 has thrown a lot of curveballs and I’m feeling “curveball fatigue.” Yes, it’s real and, yes, I just made it up.

Can you relate?

About a year ago I had streamlined my journal process due to time constraints caused by, well, the busyness of life. You know, two days watching grandlittles, full-time school, full-time work, and the list goes on.

But recently I’ve really been feeling the need for more. My emotions are all over the place, ya’all—weepy one second, laughing the next...so many feels to feel. Whew.
So I hopped back into the long version of the process I had been using since 1992. And, guys, it was more needed than I thought!

It has helped ease my anxiety and focus my attention on serenity, freedom, and joy.
In case you’d like to join me first let’s talk about how to use the Feeling Wheel (you can find the Wheel it HERE):

• The three feelings in the middle of this wheel, Shame, Forgiveness and Love, represent the inner conflict that we all have to face. Are we lovable and loving, or shame-based? Shame is the only toxic emotion on the wheel.
• The goal of this wheel is to drain the shame out of the middle by using the tool of forgiveness. By forgiving the people and situations that have resulted in "Northside" emotions, you drain the shame out of the middle of the wheel and this keeps it from sticking to other emotions. When this happens, Shame turns into Rejection first (Rejection is a non-toxic feeling--we all experience rejection off and on), and then it actually becomes Love. This creates a dynamic in your life where none of your feelings are toxic, and you are able to build better boundaries.
• Forgiveness is not a one time thing nor is it just saying “I forgive you/this.” It requires that you identify what was broken, as well the feelings around the situation.
• The first step is to simply track what you’re feeling two or three times a day. Please list three feelings and who you're with and what you are doing as you track your emotions in your journal, or in a separate notebook or Smartphone note app.
• The six feelings outside the core three represent modes. Modes are pathways in the brain that we develop very early in life, some while we are still in the womb. We learn half of all that we ever learn by the time we are two years old, and many modes are set by then. And those modes remain until we purposely change them. The Feeling Wheel 5.0 is a tool to grow those modes into methods of reacting that serve our values and goals.

Okay, now here are the deets that coincide with the Feeling Wheel you see here (you can see the kid’s version above to reference just in case you’d like to help your kiddos learn to express all the hard feels):

• Being rigorously honest with yourself write out 3 feelings from yesterday that created disconnect from your own heart or the hearts of others. (Ex: I admit that I felt frustrated, anxious, and hopeless yesterday. I admit my thoughts that caused me to disconnect from those I love.)
• Pick 3 feelings from the bottom of the Feeling Wheel that you want to have throughout the day. Write them out and then meditate on them, visualizing what that will look like (Ex: My desire and hope is to be open to joy, peace and respect today. Visualization: See yourself having respectful conversation with your boss today. See yourself embracing the joy you are experiencing because you have communicated effectively and lovingly to those you love the most. See yourself breathing deeply of peace throughout your day no matter what is happening around you.)
• Write out the things that you are grateful for. (Ex: I am grateful for health, my family, and the knowledge that I have a hopeful future.) Then just listen to your heart for 5 minutes, writing out whatever comes to you.

Enjoy the peace that comes as a result!