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I'm a Recovering Control Freak

1/8/2020

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By Marla

​Who’s a recovering control freak???

This girl.

Yep, and I know exactly where it comes from... Are you leaning in for this?

The fear of being judged or disapproved of. Yikes.

When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success (control), popularity (control), perfection (control), being “right” (control), and power (control) are easily perceived as attractive solutions. (Note: none of these things are wrong; it’s when they become the idols we worship that they are dangerous and life-sucking.)

The real trap, however, is self-rejection. Reject myself before anybody else can reject me... Resonate? Me, too.

As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I too-often (still!) find myself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am unimportant” … [My dark side says,] “I am no good, it worthy of love and acceptance… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned.”

Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of...
  • dreams,
  • of relationships,
  • of peace, empowerment and joy,
  • of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.”

Philosopher, theologian, and humble sage Henri Nouwen writes, “Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.”

The core truth of our existence is being the Beloved...

Sink your teeth into that delicious morsel of truth. Wowza.
​
You are in control of this fight for freedom from control. And YOU ARE WORTHY of your name The Beloved. Embrace it today and know that you are loved, important, and valuable because you are the Beloved.

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    Marla and Jami

    Cofounders of JamiAndMarla.LOVE (fka Passion Provokers and Keller Coaching) Jami and Marla are proud to bring a new level of success to coupleships worldwide with their unique coaching, mentoring, and consulting process. Their blogs are not only informative for coupleships they are personal. For over 25 years they have been helping people create emotionally and physically intimate coupleships.

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    Ariel Minter

    Ariel is a freelance blogger, web designer, and SEO consultant. She is 23 years young, married to her soulmate, and a proud “mother” to boxer Bruce and Yorkie Dexter. She focuses on writing content that is raw and relatable. (Info relevant at the time of writing, circa 2013-2015)

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"I was discouraged to discover that the local marriage counselors I was sending my patients to were recommending divorce within the first two visits. I am an advocate for healing--both for the couples and their children. When one of my patients who had been on the verge of divorcing her husband told me they had discovered a couple who coach together and save relationships 97% of the time I immediately began recommending Jami and Marla! They have proven to me over and over again that relationships are fixable including those on the brink of collapse. I highly recommend Jami and Marla."
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