by Ariel Minter
It’s been a few years since the first time I heard this song. The lyrics themselves have always been a bit addicting. To me, a great song is one that gives you a sense of longing or heartache. When I first thought about why I was so attracted to it, and the way it made me feel broken, I realized that it was because it was an ensemble of words and notes that left me feeling understood.
Across continents, countries, languages and cultures emotions remain the same. Happiness is a smile, worry is a frown, joy is dancing, and pain is tears. As humans we all seek to be understood. And sometimes, that is more easily expressed in melodies or by watching ballet. Sometimes we don’t have a way to share it or feel heard unless it’s expressed by someone else. That is when a song makes your cry. Or a movie makes you laugh like you’ll never stop. That’s why we choose a spouse, and we choose this incredible individual based on how they make us feel understood for exactly who we are. By choosing someone to be your partner in life, you are also choosing to give someone the ability to hurt you.
I think the pain of being misunderstood, or when someone rejects you, sparks a depth of loneliness that this song captures. Where that feels the most relevant is near the end, where he sings:
Yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive
Regardless of where you come from, what language you speak, if your 12 or 75, all you really want is to be understood and for someone to really know who you are. That is why it seems like so many relationships fail…it truly is as simple as the fact that somewhere along the way someone felt misunderstood. They didn’t feel heard. Or validated. Or important enough. It was just broken, and just like that it was over.
It took me finding out who I really was….really understanding myself, before I could even think of finding someone who I knew I wanted to be by my side all the way until “death do us part.”
There are so many people that don’t get it, that it makes it very easy to think that the first person who does is automatically your soulmate. But, by my experience, the only way you can know you’ve found that is if every trial that should tear you both apart, only brings you closer together. This does not mean that you won’t get hurt. And it doesn’t mean that you will always understand that person or that they will always understand you.
When you choose to live your life authentically and wholly based off of who you truly are, you cannot go wrong. If you are seeking out better ways to live every single day, you cannot go wrong. Everyone wants to feel understood. And brokenness leads to discovery. So break every once and a while. Fight for your emotions, even if it is anger and pain. Fight to find the person who understands you and fights back for you. Be brave. Let someone know who you are.
Marla and Jami
Cofounders of JamiAndMarla.LOVE (fka Passion Provokers and Keller Coaching) Jami and Marla are proud to bring a new level of success to coupleships worldwide with their unique coaching, mentoring, and consulting process. Their blogs are not only informative for coupleships they are personal. For over 25 years they have been helping people create emotionally and physically intimate coupleships.
Ariel is a freelance blogger, web designer, and SEO consultant. She is 23 years young, married to her soulmate, and a proud “mother” to boxer Bruce and Yorkie Dexter. She focuses on writing content that is raw and relatable. (Info relevant at the time of writing, circa 2013-2015)