Language is something we master. The funny thing about language (verbal and non-verbal) is that we master it and then, when we use it, often use it unconsciously. We respond in reaction: out of emotion, out of how we think we should respond.
When you become aware of the things that come out of your mouth, or how you’re standing while talking to someone, you suddenly realize you are coming out of a Zombie-like daze. Did you really hear what your lover, your dad, your friend was saying to you? And did you really respond? Or did you just mimic something that sounded right?
So in this daze--we can call it Zombie-land--you react in ways that are unconscious. And you make decisions in Zombie-land that the real-life version of you wouldn’t appreciate, and may even detest.
Is your Zombie-land language coming from a place of pain or a place of love? Is it coming out of health or is it coming out of disease? You see…there aren’t many other places your unconscious language can come from. You are either coming from a place of dysfunction or growth.
Now, you may not know. But I can tell you how: how are your relationships? When you evaluate the level of “good” your relationships are, then you can gauge exactly where your Zombie-land language is coming from. I have a harder question to ask though…how is your relationship with yourself? If you are self-loathsome, depressed, tired, insecure, or anxious, then your Zombie-land language is killing your relationships. True story.
A lot of the times, when you ask someone what he or she wants in life, they give a simple answer “To be happy.”
Happiness: noun trying to rediscover the happiness we once knew pleasure, contentment, satisfaction, cheerfulness, merriment, gaiety, joy, joyfulness, joviality, jollity, glee, delight, good spirits, lightheartedness, well-being, enjoyment; exuberance, exhilaration, elation, ecstasy, jubilation, rapture, bliss, blissfulness, euphoria, transports of delight.
With this in mind, the real question to ask is: How are you going to achieve this king of happiness in your life? You cannot have happiness if you rely on Zombie-land language and dead relationships, especially if you are dead to yourself.
I challenge you to wake up. To dust off some of your dysfunctional shields, stand up, and get the hell out of Zombie-land and learn an entirely different language. This language is clarity. It is choosing to live the life you dream of NOW. I know, it’s hard to get out of your comfortable daze of mimicking what you think sounds right. It’s hard to choose to live in real-life.
There is no real measurement for “happiness” except for your own, but I don’t believe you can really be happy unless you choose to live consciously, and that takes time. Learning a new language is not easy.
Marla and Jami
Cofounders of JamiAndMarla.LOVE (fka Passion Provokers and Keller Coaching) Jami and Marla are proud to bring a new level of success to coupleships worldwide with their unique coaching, mentoring, and consulting process. Their blogs are not only informative for coupleships they are personal. For over 25 years they have been helping people create emotionally and physically intimate coupleships.
Ariel is a freelance blogger, web designer, and SEO consultant. She is 23 years young, married to her soulmate, and a proud “mother” to boxer Bruce and Yorkie Dexter. She focuses on writing content that is raw and relatable. (Info relevant at the time of writing, circa 2013-2015)