Dangling Participles (Emotional Affairs)


by Jami Keller
Dangling participle: adjective (dăngˈglĭng)  (pär-təsi-pəl) Simply put, a dangling participle is “an adjective missing its noun.”

Close friendships with people (who are not your partner) are appropriate in relation to good boundaries. When you find yourself thinking about a friend, as well as anxiously anticipating time with that person who is not your partner, this needs to be a red flag.

Emotional affairs are just as damaging and dangerous as sexual affairs. Beware of your patterns with any people you are attracted to that are not your partner. Even relationships as “benign” as close work friendships may have a connection that is not healthy – nor is it safe.

Here are some signs that you are in an inappropriate relationship with someone other than your partner:

  • The sexual chemistry is palpable, but the relationship has not become sexual (no touching inappropriately, no kissing, etc.)
  • Conversations are very personal, and often include frustrations about each other’s significant other.
  • You begin to justify why you need to spend more time with them, often neglecting your partner and family.
  • You dress up for them.
  • You would end up feeling guilty if your partner saw you with them.
  • You hide text messages, your phone, etc.
  • You have become dependent on the emotional high that comes from being with them.

If you are curious whether or not you are in an inappropriate emotional affair, take this quick online quiz from “NOT Just Friends” by Dr. Shirley Glass.

Is there someone in your life whom you have twinges of guilt about because of the close relationship you have with them? It’s never too late to extract yourself from this emotional affair, and seek help for a deeper connection and healing between you and your partner.

We highly recommend taking action sooner than later. The longer you allow this to go on, the more at risk you are of shifting into a sexual affair. And, the more you are at risk of destroying the life you’ve built with your partner.

Are you ready to work through this? Passion Provokers is here to help!