FORGIVENESS LOVES…

by Jami Keller The big benefit to those who practice forgiveness is that they can feel accurately and shift from hurt and betrayal to freedom and this is always a surprise to those that are forgiven. Recently, this was illustrated to me so poignantly by my wife, Marla. I was triggered (fairly rare when you practice forgiveness regularly, but sometimes things slip past and hit us at our core) and hurt her deeply. For many relationships this would have been the end.

First, she received the hurt I gave her and then through tears she replied, “How could you??? This hurts so deeply and I feel betrayed. This hits me in my old wound of not being enough.”

So powerfully communicated; not an attack but a statement of her feelings. I was remorseful and realized my error in a new light. I was blinded by my own issues and it hurt us both.  After some short dialog, we were at a bit of an impasse. And then she chose to do the forgiveness work that we have been teaching for twenty-three years and I felt her heart shift in a big way. It does not take this long to master this skill, and yes, it does take practice.

She shared with me the specifics of her forgiveness and gave me her clear boundary. I agreed and wholeheartedly committed to keep it, as it was fair and easy for us both to know when it was kept or broken, and because there was no longer hurt surrounding her request.

In the space of a few hours she shifted from the pain of heartbreak, defeat, and hopelessness to a new level of empathy for what I was going though. I was clearly moved from the penalty box to the winners circle of her heart. I cannot express in words the power of this “SHIFT.” It inspired me to dig deeper and to do my own painful yet freeing work.

Forgiveness allows the hurt to be real and for a new boundary to form clearly in the heart of the forgiver. This allows the pain to be shared in a way that is empathetic and inspiring. It heals the relationship to the level of safety needed. Not all relationships are emotionally safe, and forgiveness helps you know the truth about the safety.

Today is Valentines Day. Hurt is often swept under the rug on occasions like this. If you want more love, choose to feel the pain, let it be real and be specific (use the Feeling Wheel 4.0), and choose to forgive (remembering that it is always a choice before it is a feeling). Then be very clear about what you need and what you want to see. Boundaries are not the words you say but the will in your heart to keep yourself safe.

As a result of all this pain and transformation our love, intimacy, and honesty has grown by leaps and bounds! And I can’t even tell you how phenomenal our lovemaking has become just in the past week (Sex: The Other “S” Word book coming soon so keep posted)!!! It’s all worth it!

Forgiveness Loves and heals relationships, and we all need this healing. It is not easy nor is it for the faint of heart, but it is always worth it! Here are a few things you can do to begin the process:

  • Track your feelings a couple times a day for a week, stop, breathe and be honest!
  • Find your top three most felt feelings from the Northside feelings from the Feeling Wheel 4.0.
  • Think of when you first felt those three feelings. Ask yourself, “Are these new feelings or hanging onto the old?” (Look for the next blog for further steps…)

Author: Jami Keller is co-founder of Passion Provokers LLC with Marla Keller, and lives a charmed life!

One thought on “FORGIVENESS LOVES…

  1. Hello world
    i am hacker i am resller of hacking services.
    Learn how having measurable goals and a clear
    strategy helps you to make money and make a
    living out of it.
    —–+ Hacked cc +——
    credit /debit card top up
    You can find a simple and quick CC top up tutorial right here:
    If you are ready, we have brought the price down for the meantime
    debit card 35$
    credit card fullz 50$
    —–+ carding tools +——
    we sharing of up-to-date knowledge and Tutorial
    focusing on specific.with all the information
    needed to engage in illicit transactions and
    online process of cashing out stolen credit card
    details, via carding tools.
    any country rdp 25$
    vip72 multiple ips 35$
    socks any country 20$
    —-+ wire transfer +—
    bank wire transfer to any bank
    Wiring money can be a fast way to move large amounts
    of money within the U.S. and abroad. If you’re not
    familiar with how to wire money, here’s a quick services.
    1000$ fees 100$
    5000$ fees 200$
    10000$ fees 300$
    —-+ wu transfer +—-
    We have the most reliable high limit wu transfer services.
    for you everywhere and at any time. Our minimum transfer
    is $1000 and our maximum $3000
    1000$ fees 150$
    2000$ fees 200$
    3000$ fees 300$
    —-+ MOney adderr +—-
    paypal and bit coins money adderr
    latest money adderr sell in cheep prize
    —-+ Contact us +—-
    Email : [email protected]

Comments are closed.