Why Timing Matters


By Ariel Minter

I believe in the idea of too many soul mates. I believe we all have at least 5,000 people who are perfect matches to be our dearest friends, and that hopefully you come into contact at least 10 of them…. and then maybe one or two will end up in your wedding party and helping you pick out the best pictures to hang in your house. 

I believe there are at least a million people out there that are perfect for you. I believe that there are so many people that are willing to love you for exactly who you are…it’s just about the right timing. 

I believe in timing. I believe some people could be perfect for you if you had only met ten years later, or earlier. Sometimes the person you want and need isn’t ready to be in that environment of a relationship. There is nothing wrong in walking away when you aren’t getting exactly what you want. But I also believe that once you commit, you’ll fight through hell and back to protect that relationship. 

I believe that the one person you actually decide to spend the rest of your life with will be because timing was on your side, and everything happened in a sequence of events that it would be criminal to turn away from. I don’t believe in waiting for someone who “just isn’t ready to take things seriously right now”, or for holding onto a relationship in hopes that they will decide that for you they’ll walk away from getting hammered every weekend because you are worth it. You know what you’re worth? Not having to ask for that. 

I don’t believe that we are too young to settle down. I don’t believe that just because I believe that, it means I have to marry the next person I think I love. I believe that because all of us are human beings none of us wake up hoping that “not a single person talks to me, or tries to communicate with me”. I believe that we all want to be accepted and loved. We all want to matter. We all want to be heard. 

I believe that in order to have a better world we need to accept more. We need to love more. We need to let other people matter to us. We need to listen, and hear. I believe that we need to stop putting “I” in front of everyone else. 

I believe in humility and giving and loving just to love and not expecting anything in return. I BELIEVE IN GETTING OUTSIDE OF OURSELVES FOR MORE THAN A MOMENT AND REALIZING THAT THERE ARE BIGGER THINGS GOING ON THAN US. 

I believe that we all have pain. We are all hurting. We are not always as happy as we pretend we are on facebook. We’re not always the most clever, the prettiest, the skinniest, the most handsome, the most fun….but that we are all human in being so messed up and ugly. And that, the only way we can love ourselves, is to love others unconditionally

I believe that my generation doesn’t really understand that. And that we all have a huge sense of entitlement, and we all think we somehow deserve big things. At the end of the day, no one owes you anything. So the best thing you can do is decide you can be volnurable sometimes and be authentic and understand that you are amazing just as you are.

So no, I don’t believe in the idea of one soulmate.