Why Waiting Matters


By Ariel Minter

I tend to be anxious. I am especially anxious when it comes to being patient. I really struggle with patience, especially in the face of conflict.

The most challenging types of conflict I deal with are the ones that involve people. Even if the conflict isn’t “in my court”, I feel compelled to fix it and FIX IT NOW. 

The most difficult request to honor is the “I just need some space to think about this.” My brain goes wild with that one. I go absolutely berserk. I suppose this can be traced to my tendency to be a tad controlling at times. I’m not entirely sure, though….

I’ve been practicing patience in my decision making. Also in my ways of making deals with myself “IF we don’t have resolution by such-and-such a time, it’s OVER, I’m never texting this person back again,” or “IF they respond this way, I’ll ignore it.” or “IF they ignore me, I’m cutting them out of my life.” I know, these deals are extreme. Not only do they hardly ever happen, but I hardly ever follow through. I just get so obsessed about the conflict and it’s like some alien has taken over my brain. 

The reason why these things never really happen is because there is an enormous amount if healing and peace in being patient. 

As I get older, I realize the adult world is really a bunch of kids with more money and more toys. The gossip doesn’t really change, the immature games girls play with boys (and vice versa) they have crushes on just become slightly more creative/ugly, and instead of tattling people just rant and rave on Facebook. 

I often times buy into this whole kid-woman thing. But, I’ve learned that if I look up from my iPhone for a few minutes and see what is going on around me, I actually can have peace and let go of the obsessive deals I start to make with myself.  So what IF it really does turn out the way I ferociously created in my mind? SO WHAT! There is a lot of peace in patience.

We’ve gained SO MUCH access into peoples lives (people expect a text back right away, expect a “like” on their status and/or comment immediately, expect SOME KIND of response) that we often forget how human their wants and needs are. And how in-human a lot of this access makes us. It makes us denounce friendships (God forbid your bf doesn’t say he is “in a relationship” with you, huh?).  

This access seems to have created a need to KNOW NOW. And I mean right now. What is going on in Syria? Oh, you missed the VMA’s but you can definitely watch how atrocious Miley Cyrus was on stage with that foam finger…..

Immediately. At. Your. Fingertips. 

Knowledge is power. But too much access to useless knowledge? Well, to me that is sort of self-defeating. 

Most of my life (1991-now), technology has accommodated my need to be in the know NOW mentality. I haven’t really practiced patience because I haven’t HAD to. In fact, being married to an amazing man (who often requests some time/space) has taught me more about patience than anything else in life. And it is has been the most fulfilling. 

Patience will promote peace in your life.  Patience is the result of forgiveness, which leads you to truth (= facts + love), and truth leads to good boundaries (with yourself and others). 

Oh, and save yourself…you don’t need to google the whole Miley Cyrus foam finger thing.