How to Refresh Your Relationship

by Ariel Minter

It is criminal how easy it is to fade away from the intimacy your relationship once flared with. At first, it’s all butterflies and looking at your phone every three minutes to see if they have responded to your previous text. Then it slowly fades.

 I think this is why it is so tricky, because it feels like you wake up one morning and your relationship doesn’t have the same excitement it used to. Now, one of my pet peeves is when girlfriends or guy friends use this as reason to end a relationship. Just because you don’t get the same butterflies as you did when you first started spending time with this person, it doesn’t mean your relationship is over. How absolutely ridiculous would it be if, simply because you were beginning to be comfortable around a person, it meant that you could no longer be friends/lovers/spouses? 

So here’s the deal: get your rear in gear. Don’t idly sit by as your relationship plummets into the pits of despair. Here are a few SIMPLE and EASY ideas that anyone in a coupleship can do, and they can be done with hardly lifting a finger (no, it does not require spending the evening in a rented out stadium, while Jack Johnson serenades you into  finding that “spark” again):

1. Keep date night sacred! Pick one night a week that is for you and your lover. If you can’t manage once a week, go for at least ONE night a month. This can be as simple as making dinner together (and getting a baby-sitter if you have little kiddos around the house, even if this is just once a month…what will cost less, 12 nights a year for a baby-sitter or your sanity?).
2. Surprise each other. Whether this is as small as writing a little love note and putting it in their wallet or a surprise movie night, this will certainly be unexpected and can result in maybe a long overdue foot massage. 
3. Have more sex! Now, not only will this allow for more intimacy but it has been PROVEN to boost the immune system and release stress. 
4. Dance together. Regardless of if this in in the kitchen, on the patio, or out at your favorite night club. 
5. Soak up some vitamin D together! Start a garden, share lawn chores, or just go for a walk around the block. Not only will your body thank you with endorphin’s  but even just 10 minutes a day can allow you to actually listen and be listened to when asked about the day.
6. Thank each other. When you are busy counting the ways you wish your partner could improve, you miss giving gratitude when they do something you appreciate. Give thanks when it is due.

So, pick any two of the six above. Maybe experiment with it by not telling your partner what you are doing, and see what happens. I can guarantee that they will not only notice, but will respond in equal kindness and love. 

Do you have any ideas on how you rekindle your love? All comments below can be anonymous, and we would love the keep the conversation going!

Until next time...
Ariel

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